Offensive Pope Benny Offended

Pat Bagley, Salt Lake Tribune, Utah
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God’s BFF!

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Pope blames financial crisis on condom use

from http://www.urbantelegraph.com.au/

Pope Benedict, currently touring Africa with John Farnham for what ‘the voice’ claims will “definitely” be his last farewell tour, has stirred up controversy once more by insisting that condom usage is the primary factor behind the current global financial crisis.

“This is a true crisis of confidence”, his holiness exclaimed in 17 different languages! “If we are to avert a repeat of the great depression of the 1930s, we must stop condom usage in Africa altogether. “The real problem here is that for every condom used, a potential Catholic taxpayer is not born, and this is a great threat to the Catholic tradition of large families.”

Federal shadow minister for Catholicism, Tony Abbott, echoed the Pope’s call, claiming that if there was not an immediate stop to the usage of condoms in Africa, it could result in a dramatic increase in STI’s and unwanted pregnancy across the ccontinent. The only way to curb this disturbing trend, he told the Pope in a boozy late-night confession, was to remove condoms from the picture altogether in the hope people may then abstein from frequenting any place where they may find someone of the opposite sex.

Anarchist historians, however, have pointed out the vital flaw in the Pope’s argument, which is that the whole “Jesus thing” would not have happened had it not been for an unexpected pregnancy.

Upon hearing this, the Pope dressed himself up in a giant inflatable condom and refused to take any further questions from the media for fear of impregnating himself.

Tickets for his ‘foot in mouth’ ‘tour of Africa are still available from selected outlets.

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Pope Benny to Africa: Condoms Not the Answer in AIDS Prevention

More crackpot nonsense from crackpot Nazi Pope Benny on behalf of the crackpot global financial and power entity known as the Vatican.

Very avoidable widespread plague and death are fine, but the wearing of rubber johnnies isn’t!

Yap, that makes perfect sense! Well, in some insane nazi la-la land perhaps!

Pope Benny continued “… ya vol … achtung … ze Priests and Bishops never wear ze rubber johnnies when banging ze altar boys and almost none of ze altar boys become pregnant!”

from http://www.mylifemymuse.com/pope-says-no-to-condoms/

Pope Benedict XVI has just made the most boneheaded and potentially dangerous statement imaginable.

“You can’t resolve it with the distribution of condoms,” he said to reporters in reference to the AIDS epidemic in Africa, “On the contrary, it increases the problem.”

There are roughly 22 million people in sub-Saharan Africa are that are infected with HIV, according to UNAIDS. In 2007, three-quarters of all AIDS deaths worldwide were there, as well as two-thirds of all people living with HIV. To tell these people that practicing safe sex is not only not beneficial, but actually part of the problem is irresponsible and just plain untrue.

Up until this point, Pope Benedict had not made a public statement regarding condom use. It is understandable that the Church’s official stance on sex is that abstinence is the best policy in disease prevention. However, his recent words could have dire consequences amongst Africans, particularly those who are devout Catholics.

Rebecca Hodes, director of policy, communication and research for the Treatment Action Campaign in South Africa says, “… his opposition to condoms conveys that religious dogma is more important to him than the lives of Africans.”

“You’ve not been using ze rubber johnnies, young fraulein, have you?”

This is not the first time the Vatican has made misleading and harmful comments about condom usage. The late Alfonso Cardinal Lopez Trujillo, the former head of the Vatican’s Pontifical Council for the Family, caused a stir when he said that condoms may help spread AIDS through a false sense of security, claiming they weren’t effective in blocking transmission of the virus.

I think we can all agree that religious groups are entitled to their opinions about the best way to get into heaven, the best way to lead a pure life, and the best way to maintain relationships. It is when they start interfering in areas of proven science and health issues that they cross the line.

Further, by preaching that sex is only ok after marriage, and condoms are never ok, what is to become of men or women who are married to someone infected with HIV/AIDS? Are they supposed to maintain their marital duties, because the Church says so, and infect each other and their newborns? Not to mention married couples who already have more children than they can afford. Would the Church have them continue having babies, or just stop having sex? What sense does this make?

“Hey eunuchs, hold my f*cking dress higher”

I am appalled. To expect impoverished people to avoid contraceptives under threat of religious guilt makes the Catholic Church somewhat culpable in the continued death of millions of people. It is possible to preach against the so-called sins of the flesh while still advising those that would continue to have sex to protect themselves. No one argues that behavioral modifications are necessary in the overall battle against disease and unwanted pregnancy, but condoms are a huge step in helping to keep people safe.

sources:

BBC.com

MSNBC.com

UNAIDS.com

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Kiss my ring …. No, not that one!

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Heil Benny

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Keeps reincarnating

Patrick Chappatte

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Baby-faced boy Alfie Patten is father at 13!

“I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10.”

More Britland craziness! A quite disturbing tale this latest one! Seems like the UK is trying to turn into one giant moronic chav trailer-park! Expect Britney Spears to move there soon!

We thought a recent study – as posted earlier here – showed that young Britons preferred music to sex! Well, not this little four foot little kid Alfie Patten, who looks about 7 years old! He’s actually much older than 7 though. He’s 13!

He was 12 when he knocked up his partner, 15 year old Chantelle!!

12? When I was 12 I could barely ride a bike, let alone anything more complex!

He must’ve seen that Michael Caine movie “Alfie” – where his namesake is a rampant serial debaucher – a few too many times!

The shot of the happy threesome together is really fu*king weird! The chick looks about 3 times Alfie’s age! And 4 times his size!

Chantelle? Is that a real name? We thought that was some sort of perfume!

Of course the sad tale arises from the usual scenario. No proper sex education. No proper guidance from parents. Probably no proper parenting at all.

As expected, a mad religious angle too with some crazy anti-abortion Christian charity quoted as saying “we commend these teenagers for their courage in bringing their child into the world!“

WTF? Sounds like something that whackjob Sarah Palin would come up with! Shouldn’t Christian extremists be against non-marital sex? We thought too that the Christian extremists were against children having sex! Well, unless the sex involved a Priest or Church Elder and did not involve condoms!

Furthermore, the boy was 12 when this took place – thus not a “teenager”! But definitely a child!

from http://www.thesun.co.uk
by l.hagan@the-sun.co.uk

BOY dad Alfie Patten yesterday admitted he does not know how much nappies cost — but said: “I think it’s a lot.”

Baby-faced Alfie, who is 13 but looks more like eight, became a father four days ago when his girlfriend Chantelle Steadman gave birth to 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne.

He told how he and Chantelle, 15, decided against an abortion after discovering she was pregnant.

The shy lad, whose voice has not yet broken, said: “I thought it would be good to have a baby.

“I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10.”

Alfie, who is just 4ft tall, added: “When my mum found out, I thought I was going to get in trouble. We wanted to have the baby but were worried how people would react.

“I didn’t know what it would be like to be a dad. I will be good, though, and care for it.”

Alfie’s story, broken exclusively by The Sun today has sparked a huge political storm with Tory leader David Cameron saying: “When I saw these pictures this morning, I just thought how worrying that in Britain today children are having children.

“I hope that somehow these children grow up into responsible parents but the truth is parenthood is just not something they should be thinking about right now.”

Secret

PM Gordon Brown refused to comment directly on the story but said it was important that the Government did all it could to prevent teenage pregnancies.

Alfie’s dad Dennis yesterday told how the lad does not really understand the enormity of his situation — but seemed desperate to be a devoted and responsible father.

He wanted to be the first to hold Maisie after the hospital birth. He tenderly kisses the baby and gives her a bottle.

And Dennis, 45, said: “He could have shrugged his shoulders and sat at home on his Playstation. But he has been at the hospital every day.”

Maisie was conceived after Chantelle and Alfie — just 12 at the time — had a single night of unprotected sex.

They found out about the baby when Chantelle was 12 weeks pregnant.

But they kept it a secret until six weeks later when Chantelle’s mum Penny, 38, became suspicious about her weight gain and confronted her.

After that Alfie’s family told only those closest to them for fear he would be “demonised” at school.

Chantelle gave birth to Maisie on Monday night after a five-hour labour at Eastbourne Hospital, East Sussex.

Last night she told The Sun: “I’m tired after the birth. I was nervous after going into labour but otherwise I was quite excited.”

Chantelle told how she discovered she was expecting after going to her GP with “really bad” stomach pains. She said: “Me and Alfie went. The doctor asked me whether we had sex. I said yes and he said I should do a pregnancy test. He did the test and said I was pregnant. I started crying and didn’t know what to do.

“He said I should tell my mum but I was too scared.

“We didn’t think we would need help from our parents. You don’t really think about that when you find out you are pregnant. You just think your parents will kill you.”

But Penny figured out what was going on after buying Chantelle a T-shirt which revealed her swelling tum.

Chantelle admitted she and Alfie — who are both being supported by their parents — would be accused of being grossly irresponsible. She said: “We know we made a mistake but I wouldn’t change it now. We will be good loving parents.

“I have started a church course and I am going to do work experience helping other young mums.

“I’ll be a great mum and Alfie will be a great dad.”

Chantelle and Maisie were released from hospital yesterday. They are living with Penny, Chantelle’s jobless dad Steve, 43, and her five brothers in a rented council house in Eastbourne. The family live on benefits. Alfie, who lives on an estate across town with mum Nicola, 43, spends most of his time at the Steadmans’ house.

He is allowed to stay overnight and even has a school uniform there so he can go straight to his classes in the morning.

Alfie’s dad, who is separated from Nicola, believes the lad is scared deep down.

He said: “Everyone is telling him things and it’s going round in his head. It hasn’t really dawned on him. He hasn’t got a clue of what the baby means and can’t explain how he feels. All he knows is mum and dad will help.

“When you mention money his eyes look away. And she is reliant on her mum and dad. It’s crazy. They have no idea what lies ahead.”

Dennis, who works for a vehicle recovery firm, described Alfie as “a typical 13-year-old boy”.

He said: “He loves computer games, boxing and Manchester United.” Dennis, who has fathered nine kids, told how he was “gobsmacked” when he discovered Alfie was to be a dad, too.

He said: “When I spoke to him he started crying. He said it was the first time he’d had sex, that he didn’t know what he was doing and of the complications that could come.

“I will talk to him again and it will be the birds and the bees talk. Some may say it’s too late but he needs to understand so there is not another baby.”

Lovely

Chantelle’s mum said: “I told her it was lovely to have the baby but I wish it was in different circumstances. We have five children already so it’s a big financial responsibility. But we are a family and will pull together and get through.

“She’s my daughter. I love her and she will want for nothing.”

Last night Michaela Aston, of the anti-abortion Christian charity LIFE, said: “We commend these teenagers for their courage in bringing their child into the world.

“At the same time this is symptomatic of the over-sexualisation of our youngsters and shows the policy of value-free sex education just isn’t working.”

Today Sussex Police and the local council’s children services said they have investigated the case and pledged continued support for the young parents.

Britain’s youngest known father is Sean Stewart. He became a dad at 12 when the girl next door, 15-year-old Emma Webster, gave birth in Sharnbrook, Bedford, in 1998. They split six months later.

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Psycho Pastor – Bushfires Punish Abortion State

The madness of Religion never ceases!

This time some mad Aussie Pastor nut has escaped from some Lunatic Asylum and is espousing the theory that the horrific Bushfires are some sort of proper divine retribution for the State of Victoria for passing an abortion Bill!

Victoria is, in his view, “an open target for the devil to destroy”!

This whackjob should be encouraged to research the crazy theme more fully and be dropped somewhere in the middle of the raging fires to do so!

Bad Taste Pastor: Bushfires Punish Abortion State

from www.deeppencil.com

A crazy Pastor has come out of the woodwork to claim that Victoria is being ravaged by bushfire (181 dead, 80 missing, 7000 homeless) because god disapproves of the abortion bill which was recently passed.

Pastor Danny Nalliah told the Sydney Morning Herald that he had a dream that god would remove his protection from the state of Victoria as a punishment for decriminalising abortion.

“The Bible is very clear,” he said. “If you walk out of God’s protection and turn your back on Him, you are an open target for the devil to destroy.”

Mr Nalliah also referred to Victoria as “the baby killing state of Australia” and was unapologetic about speaking “the truth” about the real cause of the recent bushfire devastation.

Bushfire Hotline – 1800 240 667
Victorian Bushfire Fund – 1800 811 700
Concerned about family or friends? 1800 727 077
Urgent threats – latestest information
Latest updates from the CFA

The article was unclear as to whether Mr Nalliah had contacted the police about his allegation that god is the arsonist responsible for setting the fires. This information could be a valuable lead. God does have a history of spontaneously settings bushes alight to send messages.

However, it remains to be seen if god was the instigator of the crime with satan acting as an accomplice, coerced into executing orders, or if satan acted alone with only tacit approval from god. Satan also has a history of pyromania.

At this stage god may also be investigated for links to organised crime. Any attempts to bribe or intimidate the state of Victoria into joining his gang will be treated seriously. Mr Nalliah may be called as a witness to testify of god’s threats to “remove protection” if his orders are not obeyed.

Dreams are credible evidence right?

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Over-friendly Priest

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Look mom, no hands

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Lego for Deities

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God the marketeer !

from markstivers.com

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No room at the Inauguration !

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Zen Wit !

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Perfect Product Placement !

Johnny boy’s looking real interested!

What exactly is he praying for?!! Hmmmmmm!!

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Blind Faith

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Prayer

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Jew Jitsu

The power is strong in this one!

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Religion of Peace

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