Flight of The Conchords – ‘You Don’t Have To Be a Prostitute’

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It’s a cold night
Under the street light
There’s a man who’s pants are too tight.
Oh no, his pants are too tight!

……

You don’t have to be a prostitute
no no no no no
You can say no to being a man ho,
a male gigolo

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New great Conchords Series! New great Episode. New great Bob Marley meets The Police’s ‘Roxanne’ type jam.

Yap, it’s ‘You Don’t Have To Be a Prostitute’ – based on “Out In The Streets” by The Shangri-La’s, apparently!!

From the second episode of the second season.

Check your resume
You must have some other skills?
Do you have any other skills?
… like tpying?

“Out In The Streets” by The Shangri-La’s

“You Don’t Have To Be a Prostitute”

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“Can’t we all just get the f**k along ?!”

Flight of the Conchords – ‘Mutha Uckers’

Too many mutha uckas uckin’ with my shi-

Yet another classic musical moment from the wonderful Series 1 of Flight of the Conchords.

This fine ditty comes from Ep 7 and is a nice parody, on some of the dumber aspects of hip-hop, most specifically on N.E.R.D.’s BMX fest “Lapdance”, the uncensored video for which is actually pretty fucking hot!!

Too many mutha uckas
Uckin’ with my shi-
There’s too many mutha uckas
Uckin’ with my shi-
Uckin’ with my shi-
Too many mutha uckas
Uckin’ with my shi-
With my shi-
How many mutha uckas?
Too many to count
Mutha uckas
I pay my mutha uckin’ rent fortnightly
Mutha uckas at the bank trying to play me
And I’m out for my account
‘Cause out on A.P
On AP
Yeah, you know me
Mutha ucka charge a two buck transaction fee
Makes my payment short
My rent comes back to me
Minus a twenty-five dollar penalty
So you’ll see me ’cause of your mutha uckin’ fee
Read the words
On my ATM slip, it said
We’re all mutha uckas
And we’re uckin’ with your shi-
Too many mutha uckas
Uckin’ with my shi-
My transaction shi-!
There’s too many mutha uckas
Uckin’ with my shi-
My weekly statement shi-!
My weekly statement shi-!
Too many mutha uckas
Uckin’ with my shi-
With my balance shi-!
How many mutha uckas?
Too many to count
Mutha uckas
The mutha ucka runs a racist uckin’ grocery
The mutha ucka won’t sell an apple to a Kiwi
The shi- fight’s gonna get vicious and malicious
Cut the cra- …
I need my red delicious
Tells me as a Kiwi that my money isn’t valid
Gonna dice the mutha ucka like a mutha uckin’ fruit salad
Then… … Granny Smith… …
…an avocado… … b-… -a… …
…a mango… …
Then pop an apple in his ass, yeah!
Too many mutha uckas
Uckin’ with my shi-
I’m gonna juice the mutha ucka
There’s too many mutha uckas
Uckin’ with my shi-
He’s gonna wake up in a smoothie
Too many mutha uckas
Uckin’ with my (beatboxing)
Everybody come on!
Too many mutha uckas uckin’ with my shhhhh

Lyrics credit: whatthefolk.net

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Any content linked to here is only meant as a taster for the original work itself and is posted on the strict understanding that anyone who downloads the taster, deletes said content within 24 hours. We would assume that these fans will then buy the original work and we greatly encourage them to do so.

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Morrissey’s Suedehead and Conchord dreams !

Last night I dreamt,
somebody woke me …

Rather disturbingly, I had a dream about Morrissey last night! I think my already fragile mind is nigh approaching collapse! Or maybe it was just the extra five tumblers of Jack Daniels after closing-time in the go-go bar!

I mean, I was a huge huge fan of The Smiths back in the day, but only a casual follower of Mozza’s solo work, which although having some sublime moments, has produced no sustained work remotely in the calibre of say “The Queen is Dead”.

Mozza without Marr was a tad like Lennon without Mc Cartney. Or more like Jagger without Richards!

The dream wasn’t exactly as weird as Bret’s wonderful dreams of David Bowie in the classic series 1 episode of Flight of the Conchords (see clip below!) but still rather vivid! Maybe I need to get a funky funky eye patch !!

Within much dumb conversation came the question why his solo work, according to critical opinion, never reached the heights of the Smiths, to which the great Manc. said that it did reach those heights and beyond! And moreover that his fine solo catalogue dwarfed what the Smiths ever released! Fair enough! If Morrissey said it, then it must be true! (Yes, Morrissey did say it, not some fucked-up and disturbing quirk in my subconscious that I never want to endure again!!)

Which brings us, rather stumblingly, to “Suedehead“, Mazza’s amazing debut solo single and still, in our view, his greatest solo moment.

Hard to believe this was released over 20 years ago! Yap, in February 1988! I must’ve been about 7 then!

Before the release, there was an incredible amount of fevered anticipation amongst Smiths fans, still reeling from the sudden demise of the seminal group. And so much media hype!! But, for once, the final product lived up to the hype!

I rushed out to the record store on the day of the release and played the single about a million times that first week!

The track later featured on Morrissey’s pretty decent debut album Viva Hate and again on the compilation album Bona Drag; the latter of which also featured the single’s B-side “Hairdresser on Fire“.

Strangely, this single charted higher than any of the singles released by The Smiths, reaching number 5 in the UK Singles Chart.

Suedehead remains a powerful track even though Mozza’s trademark lyrics are far from being at their best here. The track really has the feel of a great Smiths song with delicious instrumentals worthy of Johnny Marr (and stylistically not dissimilar to a set of Marr riffs).

The top class band here included Stephen Street on Bass Guitar, Guitars, Vini Reilly on Guitars, Keyboards and Andrew Paresi on Drums and Percussion.

Brit music mag NME gave Suedehead a euphoric review, awarding it ‘Single of the Week’ saying that “Morrissey’s vocals hit a pitch that turns your stomach with queasy delight. It makes you feel vulnerable and provokes emotions you’ve forgotten about.“

In the 1988 NME Year in Review the song was described as “The best No. 1 ’88 never gave us“!

A typically strange video too! Mozza on a quest through Americana for Jimmy’s ghost! Way OTT on the James Dean BS!

The highlight? Easy! Morrissey trying to start a tractor! The first and last time Mozza ever saw a fucking tractor!

Lowlight? Yap, Mozza in the bath! Could’ve really done without seeing that!

Why do you come here ?
And why do you hang around ?
I’m so sorry
I’m so sorry

Why do you come here
When you know it makes things hard for me ?
When you know, oh
Why do you come ?
Why do you telephone ? (Hmm…)
And why send me silly notes ?
I’m so sorry
I’m so sorry

Why do you come here
When you know it makes things hard for me ?
When you know, oh
Why do you come ?
You had to sneak into my room
just to read my diary
It was just to see, just to see
All the things you knew I’d written about you…
Oh, so many illustrations
Oh, but I’m so very sickened
Oh, I am so sickened now

Oh, it was a good lay, good lay
It was a good lay, good lay
It was a good lay, good lay
Oh
It was a good lay, good lay
It was a good lay, good lay
Oh, it was a good lay, good lay
Oh
Oh, it was a good lay
It was a good lay
Oh, a good lay
Oh, it was a good lay
Good lay, good lay
Oh
It was a good lay
It was a good lay

Here’s Mozza;

Here’s Bowie and Bret!;

This is a dream Bret. It’s all part of your freaky dream. Am I freaking you out Bret? Is this a freaky dream?

Wear the eye patch Bret,
Wear the funky funky eye patch

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“Can’t we all just get the f**k along ?!”