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Miss America Steroid Swimsuit Competition 2009

A fine little girl
She waits for me
She’s as plastic
As she can be
She paints her face
With plastic goo
And wrecks her hair
With some shampoo

Plastic people
Oh baby, now
You’re such a drag

–Frank Zappa

The 2009 Miss America Pageant was held recently and a new winner was crowned: Miss Indiana Katie Stam.

One of the surprises of the night was when Miss New York was asked about former pageant bimbo Sarah Palin during the question and answer session!

Man, some of these chicks really ought to be tested for steroids!!

They even make those crazy butch Williams sisters look feminine!

Most of em here look like a cross between the Rolling Stones circa 1971, Lou Reed circa 1972, New York Dolls circa 1973, A-Rod circa 2003 and the Transexual Mardi Gras!!

Man, the image of a young Jagger in heels and teeny weeny bikini prancing with Lou Reed in heels and teeny weeny bikini will haunt me all weekend!

Oh the Horror!!

The only way most of these look like a “girl next door” is if you lived next to a Pharmacy Factory!

Or a mad Mannequin Manufacturer!

One British paper remarked on the visible musculature of some of the contestants:

The Miss America pageant 2009 is set to be one of the fiercest fought events in history, contested almost exclusively by Amazonian gym buddies with seriously sculpted figures.

The swimsuit segment of the show in the heats at the Planet Hollywood resort in Las Vegas confirmed that a new breed of female athletes are going for glory, a far cry from the very natural looking girls-next-door who have competed down the 80 years of the competition’s history.

Miss America: Home

Miss America : Pageant Live : TLC

Miss America – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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February 20, 2009 - Posted by | Frank Zappa, Pageant, _BABE, _COMEDY

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