STUPID and Contagious

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Jon Stewart’s smackdown of Jim Cramer and CNBC’s failure as a watchdog

Yap, this is a tad late! So what? We can never tire of watching the idiot windbag Jim Cramer getting the kicking he so dearly deserves!!

Full un-edited version directly from Comedy Central – uncensored and even better:

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March 23, 2009 Posted by | Jim Cramer, Jon Stewart, Television, _COMEDY | Leave a comment

Mad Musings on the Mad Madness of Oscar

https://i2.wp.com/www.bvallc.com/pensionblog/uploaded_images/Oscars-732859.jpgSo another fiasco finishes! An evening celebrating nothing but celebrity. The last bastion of bullshit! Oscars Night!

Here are a few musings thereon, to alleviate the nausea the show induced in me!

Yap. Twelve things I notice that I notice or I notice that I hate about you!

https://i1.wp.com/www.johnmitchell.org/laura-george-bush-jon-stewart.jpg1. Is Jon Stewart really American? Witty, open-minded, so very normal. A perfect purveyor of that alien concept (in US-land anyway) called “Irony”!

Surely can’t be a yank? Must be some sort of European in disguise!

2. Why are Matt Damon and Hillary Swank never seen in the same room?

If there’s ever a remake of “Jaws”, they can both star in the title role!

3. Best Original Screenplay winner Diablo Cody, or more precisely Brook Busey-Hunt, who was formerly an “exotic dancer”, or more precisely a stripper, seemed to be freaking out trying to grab her dress in order to hide her lovely thighs when going on-stage.

Did Brook not notice when she was getting ready earlier in the day that her dress was slit up to the hips! I mean, you could almost see her “Bushy Hunt”!

Maybe she was trying to be ironic – but I doubt it!

Brook, baby, you were a stripper! You’ve got some clothes on now, however skimpy. Chill out!!

We love those leaked nudie shots of Brookie too! Nice work baby! We love your blog also!

4. Those Coen freaks seemed to “forget” to thank the genius Cormac Mc Carthy, one of the supreme masters of modern prose, for writing the novel on which their crappy movie was very loosely based. These two are believing their own hype and are seemingly floating on egotism!

Did they even notice that Cormac was in the audience! Yap, the dapper guy there who looks a lot like Cormac Mc Carthy is actually Cormac Mc Carthy, you morons!

Guess they only had 3 chances to do it!! About 3 too many! That dumb movie was so fucking disappointing. It disappointed me almost as much as my first fiancee did!

Is it true that the title “TEX-MEX TERMINATOR” was originally considered for said Coen shit-fest?

Or perhaps “More Cunt-ry from Old Coen Men”.

Their post-modern pastiches are in fact all seriously over-rated. Even what is their best outing, “Fargo”, doesn’t bear up to repeat viewings. These old Emperors sure have a lot of new clothes!

Javier Bardem’s speech was excellent though. No bullshit. And he was convincing too in the “Terminator” role for which he won.

https://i1.wp.com/msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photo_StoryLevel/080224/080224-heigl-carpet-vmed-6p.widec.jpg5. Is Katherine Heigl too beautiful to be a good actress?

Even her faux-nervous stammerings when she presented some stupid award for Best Saucepan, or something, didn’t convince.

Did she wanna get noticed by the Academy and the trillion billion viewers, I wonder?!

BTW, Katherine did you get my love letters? That’s not red ink you know, that’s my own blood!! I wanna show you that I ain’t fucking around here, Kathy baby!

6. Is it difficult for bimbo actresses to plan their pregnancies just in time for Oscar Night?

Lucky for them the writers strike ended in time – else it would’ve been a wasted trip to the sperm bank!

7. Why were four of the nominated “Best Song” songs joke-songs? Is there an award for “Best Joke-Song Song”?

https://i2.wp.com/content.foxsearchlight.com/files/uploaded/gallery24.jpg8. Why did raggle-taggle Dubliner Glen Hansard not allow his lovely Czech mate Markéta Irglová to speak when they accepted their “Best Song” Oscar for a song composed and performed together! Wanker!

When Markéta did get a chance to speak later, thanks to the intervention of the great Jon Stewart, why did she sound even more Oirish than Hansard? And who the fuck’s responsible for teaching her that horrible meaningless Oirish phrase “Fair play to him” ?!

9. Congrats to whoever booby trapped the floor before Colin “Guatemala” Farrell came out to speak. Too bad they didn’t fully succeed!

https://i2.wp.com/www.empirewire.com/images/oscar.jpg10. Is Daniel Day Lewis some distant relation to Dorian Gray?

Why did Danny go out of his way refer to his missus as “Rebecca Miller“? Yes, we know who her daddy was, thanks!

I seem to remember that Danny Boy in the mid-nineties avowed never to act again and bizarrely became a shoemaker in Florence! He must’ve run out of leather! Maybe those pesky elves kept stealing it!

11. It was amazing that the recap of the eighty winners of the Best Picture award, showed how few real classics have won this award down the years.

Top of the pile by a country mile amongst them would be “The Godfather: Part II”, with “The Godfather” close behind. Bottom would be “The sound of Muzak” along with “More Cunt-ry from Old Coen Men”.

Amazing too how many true classics from Europe and elsewhere were nowhere recognised.

https://i2.wp.com/www.robarnum.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/bergman.jpg12. During the roll call of members who have deceased in the past year, two supreme giants of world cinema, Michelangelo Antonioni (September 29, 1912 – July 30, 2007) and Ingmar Bergman (July 14, 1918 – July 30, 2007), who strangely both died on the same day, received zero special mention.

In fact, their names even seemed to be totally unregognised by the attending dumb celebs.

https://i0.wp.com/image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Arts/Arts_/site_furniture/2007/07/31/mantonioni460.jpgAntonioni and Bergman were true auteurs, real geniuses of cinema. Their works were majestic, eternal.

These great men will never be forgotten. Their works will last through the ages.

From the sublime to the ridiculous, I also noticed that this year the roll call included Agents and Studio Executives. Agents? Studio Executives? WTF! I guess next year they will include accountants too!

February 28, 2008 Posted by | Coen Brothers, Jon Stewart, _ARTICLE, _OTHER | Leave a comment

Mad Musings on the Mad Madness of Oscar

https://i2.wp.com/www.bvallc.com/pensionblog/uploaded_images/Oscars-732859.jpgSo another fiasco finishes! An evening celebrating nothing but celebrity. The last bastion of bullshit! Oscars Night!

Here are a few musings thereon, to alleviate the nausea the show induced in me!

Yap. Twelve things I notice that I notice or I notice that I hate about you!

https://i1.wp.com/www.johnmitchell.org/laura-george-bush-jon-stewart.jpg1. Is Jon Stewart really American? Witty, open-minded, so very normal. A perfect purveyor of that alien concept (in US-land anyway) called “Irony”!

Surely can’t be a yank? Must be some sort of European in disguise!

2. Why are Matt Damon and Hillary Swank never seen in the same room?

If there’s ever a remake of “Jaws”, they can both star in the title role!

3. Best Original Screenplay winner Diablo Cody, or more precisely Brook Busey-Hunt, who was formerly an “exotic dancer”, or more precisely a stripper, seemed to be freaking out trying to grab her dress in order to hide her lovely thighs when going on-stage.

Did Brook not notice when she was getting ready earlier in the day that her dress was slit up to the hips! I mean, you could almost see her “Bushy Hunt”!

Maybe she was trying to be ironic – but I doubt it!

Brook, baby, you were a stripper! You’ve got some clothes on now, however skimpy. Chill out!!

We love those leaked nudie shots of Brookie too! Nice work baby! We love your blog also!

4. Those Coen freaks seemed to “forget” to thank the genius Cormac Mc Carthy, one of the supreme masters of modern prose, for writing the novel on which their crappy movie was very loosely based. These two are believing their own hype and are seemingly floating on egotism!

Did they even notice that Cormac was in the audience! Yap, the dapper guy there who looks a lot like Cormac Mc Carthy is actually Cormac Mc Carthy, you morons!

Guess they only had 3 chances to do it!! About 3 too many! That dumb movie was so fucking disappointing. It disappointed me almost as much as my first fiancee did!

Is it true that the title “TEX-MEX TERMINATOR” was originally considered for said Coen shit-fest?

Or perhaps “More Cunt-ry from Old Coen Men”.

Their post-modern pastiches are in fact all seriously over-rated. Even what is their best outing, “Fargo”, doesn’t bear up to repeat viewings. These old Emperors sure have a lot of new clothes!

Javier Bardem’s speech was excellent though. No bullshit. And he was convincing too in the “Terminator” role for which he won.

https://i1.wp.com/msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photo_StoryLevel/080224/080224-heigl-carpet-vmed-6p.widec.jpg5. Is Katherine Heigl too beautiful to be a good actress?

Even her faux-nervous stammerings when she presented some stupid award for Best Saucepan, or something, didn’t convince.

Did she wanna get noticed by the Academy and the trillion billion viewers, I wonder?!

BTW, Katherine did you get my love letters? That’s not red ink you know, that’s my own blood!! I wanna show you that I ain’t fucking around here, Kathy baby!

6. Is it difficult for bimbo actresses to plan their pregnancies just in time for Oscar Night?

Lucky for them the writers strike ended in time – else it would’ve been a wasted trip to the sperm bank!

7. Why were four of the nominated “Best Song” songs joke-songs? Is there an award for “Best Joke-Song Song”?

https://i2.wp.com/content.foxsearchlight.com/files/uploaded/gallery24.jpg8. Why did raggle-taggle Dubliner Glen Hansard not allow his lovely Czech mate Markéta Irglová to speak when they accepted their “Best Song” Oscar for a song composed and performed together! Wanker!

When Markéta did get a chance to speak later, thanks to the intervention of the great Jon Stewart, why did she sound even more Oirish than Hansard? And who the fuck’s responsible for teaching her that horrible meaningless Oirish phrase “Fair play to him” ?!

9. Congrats to whoever booby trapped the floor before Colin “Guatemala” Farrell came out to speak. Too bad they didn’t fully succeed!

https://i2.wp.com/www.empirewire.com/images/oscar.jpg10. Is Daniel Day Lewis some distant relation to Dorian Gray?

Why did Danny go out of his way refer to his missus as “Rebecca Miller“? Yes, we know who her daddy was, thanks!

I seem to remember that Danny Boy in the mid-nineties avowed never to act again and bizarrely became a shoemaker in Florence! He must’ve run out of leather! Maybe those pesky elves kept stealing it!

11. It was amazing that the recap of the eighty winners of the Best Picture award, showed how few real classics have won this award down the years.

Top of the pile by a country mile amongst them would be “The Godfather: Part II”, with “The Godfather” close behind. Bottom would be “The sound of Muzak” along with “More Cunt-ry from Old Coen Men”.

Amazing too how many true classics from Europe and elsewhere were nowhere recognised.

https://i2.wp.com/www.robarnum.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/bergman.jpg12. During the roll call of members who have deceased in the past year, two supreme giants of world cinema, Michelangelo Antonioni (September 29, 1912 – July 30, 2007) and Ingmar Bergman (July 14, 1918 – July 30, 2007), who strangely both died on the same day, received zero special mention.

In fact, their names even seemed to be totally unregognised by the attending dumb celebs.

https://i0.wp.com/image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Arts/Arts_/site_furniture/2007/07/31/mantonioni460.jpgAntonioni and Bergman were true auteurs, real geniuses of cinema. Their works were majestic, eternal.

These great men will never be forgotten. Their works will last through the ages.

From the sublime to the ridiculous, I also noticed that this year the roll call included Agents and Studio Executives. Agents? Studio Executives? WTF! I guess next year they will include accountants too!

February 28, 2008 Posted by | Coen Brothers, Jon Stewart, _EDITORIAL | 2 Comments