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January 12, 2009 Posted by | Keeley Hazell, UK, _BABE | Leave a comment

SuperBimbo Keeley Hazell saves the planet!

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It’s sunny one minute and the next minute it’s raining!

SuperBimbo Keeley Hazell saves the planet by her booby conservationalism!! Hurrah!

Surprise, surprise, this is SKY News!

You’d never guess that SKY News is the daddy of FOX News!

What the fuck is this shit doing on the news?!

Methinks Keels should stick to taking out her giant bazookas and keeping her lips stuck together (except in the bedroom, of course!)

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July 6, 2008 Posted by | England, Keeley Hazell, OTHER_COMEDY, _BABE, _VIDEO | Leave a comment

Keeley Hazell Music Shocker (She looks hot though!)

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Brit boobmonster Keeley Hazell has released a pop single.

Hurrah!

It sounds like a cross between Bob Dylan, the Beatles, Leonard Cohen, the Temptations and Bessie Smith.

Of course it fucking doesn’t!!

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Don’t listen to this without protective earwear!

Don’t ogle her gyrating hot body without protective eyewear (or cock-wear … whatever that might be!)!

Keeley Hazell ‘Voyeur’


Nice work earbashing babe!

July 6, 2008 Posted by | England, Keeley Hazell, _BABE, _MUSIC, _VIDEO | Leave a comment

Hurrah for England (Slappers!) – Keeley Hazell

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Part of our periodic series, Hurrah for England (Slappers!)

For such a small country, Enger-land’s surely got the most slappers per capita of population!

The sun never sets on the British Empire of Slappers!

Nice work Brits!

This time, Hurrah for England (Slapper!) Keeley Hazell!!

Hurrah !!!

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Yap. We sure do like em busty! 32E is my favourite number!

Her bio is typically hilarious.

Of course she has a sex tape! What slapper worth their salt doesn’t!?

Ironically, she is a virgo! Are you sure?

Like her hero Al Gore she wants to protect the environment for all humanity – thanks baby! – and protect the manbearpig!

Birthday:9/18/1986
Nickname:Kee
Birthname:Keeley Rebecca Hazell
Hometown:Lewisham, London, England
Assets:Enormous 100% real breasts 32E
Vices:Not making sure she had the only copy of her sex tape
Sign:Virgo
Height: 5’6
Job:Glamour Model
Hobbies: Protecting the environment
Country of Origin:United Kingdom

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Hip Hip Hurrah !!!

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A favorite of the British tabloids, Keeley made a common mistake among hot chicks who own, or date someone who owns, video equipment; she and ex-boyfriend Lloyd Miller made a sex tape, which was leaked, then released in 2007.

As with most sex tapes, Keeley’s fame sky rocketed and has led to lots of career opportunities. Keeley has become the face of Playstation’s Formula 1 racing game.

Not too many people outside the UK know who she is but that should change when Keeley appears in the upcoming Baywatch movie.

This booby babe was voted #13 in the AskMen.com’s Top 99 Women 2008 Edition.

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Her Booby Story

Hazell was born in London, England in 1986. A troubled student, she often times was ejected from class, most likely by female teachers.

At 16 she left school to work as a hairdresser but the absolutely ridiculous level of hotness she possessed was brought to her attention by her co-workers, who told her to take a shot at modeling.

She entered in a British Tabloid’s “Search for a Beach Babe,” contest, and crushed the pale competition. After her victory, three cast sculptures were made of her bust by renowned sculpter and creepily horny man, Leigh Hepell.

Using her new found celebrity for good Hazell was hailed by the Conservative Party in December 2006 as an “environmental hero” for her campaigns in The Sun, giving environmental tips such as turning lights off during sex and using digital cameras!!

Apparently this was a lesson hard learned, as a tape from a digital camera showing her having sex with the lights on was leaked on the internet.

Since then, Hazell’s likeness has graced the cover of British magazines and tabloids, making Londoners everywhere less aware of the rotten smell that fills their public transit system. She’s currently in talks to star in the upcoming Baywatch movie, which will undoubtedly stretch her acting chops.

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Stuff she’s done, ie: movies, tv, albums:

Cashback (2006), Weekly section in The Daily Sun, Zoo, FHM

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July 6, 2008 Posted by | England, Keeley Hazell, _BABE | Leave a comment

ASS-stounding work!

June 23, 2008 Posted by | Keeley Hazell, _BABE, _PHOTOGRAPHY | Leave a comment